I failed, me & Pprom

Who cares....


Pprom, post traumatic stress disorder baby loss and saving baby lives...


That failing feeling


Who did I think I was, I failed....


Do I need to be Famous to get people to believe in pprom ?


Do I have to be famous to gain donations


Sorry


I'm not famous....


This girl feels like she has failed....


I loss my baby Sinead Speakman on the 15th April 2010, my waters had broke prior


I fought to keep pregnant


I failed her....


I fought to get justice, no one kept their promise when I agreed an settlement out of court


I failed her....


I had a 3 hour Health ombudsman team, who came from London to the High Peak, they promise to investigate, they never did


I failed her...


I failed to get 100,000 signatures on our petiton


I failed her....


I failed to convince 3 MP's to speak in parliament on my behalf


I failed her.....


I failed to get £60,000 in donations for Pprom research (I learnt it cost millions)


I failed her....


This just giving page we started in 2014, I am not even over £5000



Our amazing team is over £20,000 but we not famous enough to get the donations rolling in, I sit listening to the amazing researchers and I feel like I am failing them...



I have ran 2 London marathons, half marathons and plenty of 5k, and jump 13,000 ft rom a plane and so much more


Yet...


Why do I feel such an failure


I feel like I failed her


When we have brought back Rcog guidelines and patient leaflets,


We were not invited down to the event that could have made our day


I failed her...


I failed to get on This Morning last year


They told me more important subjects were in the press at the time


Pprom did not matter...


I failed her...


We paid into the ukoss research project and the uclh pprom stem cell pprom research to reseal the membranes


( see here, https://www.facebook.com/634477469905381/posts/3371299606223140/ )


But I still feel like I have failed her...


Why...


Because I needed a research project in memory of my first born


I wanted to prove that mummy wasn't a failure


Please if you reading this tonight, please comment on our posts, and invest in us


Help us proved to this World we do NOT need to be famous to make this happen


Prove to the World the goodness of what my failings have become


Because I feel I am trying so hard and at moment I feel like I am falling her....


I feel like I am failing you....


When I type Pprom into Google, Little Heartbeats does not come up


I feel like I failed you.....


Someone famous recently loss their babies to pprom and I feel like I failed her


This couple have raised thousands in 4 days for pprom research which is amazing in the name of their babies...


Its amazing....


But we failed her because she didn't know we existed and maybe had I been famous


She may have found us....


Then they maybe they may not have been so alone in thinking no one cared about Pprom


I am so sorry....


Maybe more could have been saved if I hadn't of failed...


My post traumatic stress disorder is telling my head its failed


Please for the love of pprom and Little Heartbeats


Send us a Pick us up, and help us break the silence...


To prove to Sinead she mattered, no matter how small she was and how short her life within was....


And I didn't fail....


We have a song which I co wrote with Nicole and it is my wish we can prove that we don't need to be famous for the girl next door who talks about her dead baby


(Our song is here,

https://www.facebook.com/PpromAwarenessUK/videos/663324347590415/ )


That next door girl,being Me and the team have saved others from the heartache I endured


We know our free pprom care packs are helping but we cannot prove this without you sharing....


But unless you tell people about this


About Little Heartbeats and pprom


Then no one knows we exist...


Can you foresee life without Little Heartbeats?


We have failed to break the silence


Our free care pprom care packs have

Save other babies lives


In fact its saved our mums lives


I know I am trying so hard


I am blinded and I am so worried that someone does not know the importance of our work


So if anyone thinks


I am a somebody


Please help me make Little Heartbeats successful and help us keep Little Heartbeats alive


So other babies get a better chance to live in person on this Earth


Sinead, I miss you and have relived my loss the last 4 days


My heart is shattered and I just need our big break


Thank you for listening


(Please note despite my PTSD we have closed support groups if you going through pprom.amd we still have some care packs stock in)


#pprom #littleheartbeats


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