"My Guardian Angel by Ciara Curran"
"My Guardian Angel - the impact of suicide by Ciara Curran"
This here is my Guardian angel is our Declan....
June is a very difficult month for me as a founder of Little Heartbeats, and this is the reason why we do our international awareness month in September.
Every year, I stop and think of the 6th June 1981, the day that broke our families heart and wonder if I could have done more.
The reason I started Little Heartbeats is because I lost my first-born baby, Sinead due to my waters breaking early and further complications. My voice was not heard. I still feel the guilt. The flashbacks I still endure.
There have been some very dark days, including the times I went on to have further baby losses
But thanks to my guardian angel my younger brother Declan, I am still standing.
We lost Declan many years ago to suicide. He was 13 years old a month before his 14th Birthday, he took a guitar strap and hung it on a door. Declan thought no one cared, but we so did! We believe it was his call for help, but we had not been aware that the man who raped him had been let out on bail. No one had thought to tell out parents.
I have never forgotten the day. I arrived home from work, to see his lifeless body being carried out in a body bag.
but it is thanks to our Declan, that I am still standing....
He has been my guardian angel and saved me so many times. This last year has been so tough if I am honest. Last year, I felt like a total failure, I had recently lost my mother in Nov 2019, the pandemic hit, I suffered a lot of heartache, upset and distress.
Last year, we were supposed to submit for our charity status. It was extremely close, however faced with some challenges our plans have been put to a halt.
I have to remember I am still here and I am the only voice for my daughter Sinead and to be there for others going through PPROM makes her life not in vain.
I am still standing. It is thanks to Declan I have not given up to date. he is my guardian angel.
So my words of wisdom on our Declan's anniversary today is if you are feeling so alone, so down and you are feeling suicidal and you wanting to give up, we say do NOT give up, and know you are not alone, do speak to your GP/ Doctor, or go to your nearest emergency room or ring the Samaritans (number for the UK is 116 123 )
PPROM, regardless off the outcome, is an extremely traumatic experience. There are so many aspects of it that can lead you to a dark and depressing place.
Please know to call someone, don't take your own life, your baby was born for a reason and you the only one who can tell their story.
This poem is by my brother Declan Curran 7th July 1981 to 6th June 1991
Peace is here.
It’s come, White Doves Flying
The war is over.
Next month would have been our Declan's 40th. I sit and wonder how he would look. Would he be married and have children? I always wonder why, why did you not just pick up the phone? But then I reminded how cruel this World is at times. Somehow, we have to rise above it and do our best.
This is our petition to help gain better support for those who may have gone through the same experience as our Declan. We believe it may have saved my brothers life had it been in place back then.
Sign Petition here
Make it mandatory for Police & CPS to provide counselling to ALL victims of CSA - Petitions (parliament.uk)