Rainbow 🌈 baby
Behind every rainbow 🌈 baby
There is one hell of a journey
No one understands this unless they have been through this
As a woman who lost her first baby because of my complications after losing my waters
When myself and my partner discussed having a baby
He wasn't really keen as didn't want us to go through losing an other baby
The only way he agreed to try again was that I had to have a pregnancy plan.
I spoke with a few consultants, and decided to go with the one who offered me a cervical stitch and regular lab testing of samples.
Despite the risks to this procedure
I felt it was the right option for me
A week or so after my stitch I was in A & E & I had to convince the nurse to lab test my urine.
The results of the dipstick were clear but my lab results, equal ecoli
The emotional rollercoaster of this pregnancy was in a word worrying, scary
Any pain, any lack of movements I was at the hospital
When they took my stitch out at 36 weeks, I just wanted my baby girl to be born.
She kept me waiting for a few more weeks.
At that point I hadn't even brought a pram or car seat
As I was so anxious in case my waters broke and I would end up losing another baby
I was petrified
I actually felt my pregnancy had been stolen with my anxiety
I ended up requesting to be induce as my anxiety was not great.
Her birth started off great and I was in the water pool, as so wanted a water birth
However my luck wasn't in, as after they broke my waters, in which there was a room fall of water
My baby heart rate went rapidly down
I had to have IV antibiotics as I had been confirmed group b strep
It went rapidly fast
She was born by emergency c section, nearly a general
It felt surreal & there is a part of me, that was overwhelmed
How she looked like her older sister
We talk about our rainbow babies
But we forget to talk about us mothers and how difficult that pregnancy after loss is
I hope in the future that perinatal nurses are introduced to mums who lose their babies & when they are lucky enough to be able to bring this special baby into the World
It's one hell of a journey
Hope after the storm
